History is filled with legends of people who have left an indelible mark in this world. Men and women alike have impacted the course of world history with their feats that demonstrated their passion as well as their vision. They were either endowed with incredible talents, superior intelligence or faced with insurmountable adversity that incited them to action like Martin Luther King. Whatever their gifts were, their legacies are contained in a narrative that abounds with the triumph of human spirit and perseverance. Their feats exhibited an innate calling to fulfill a purpose by which their characters are centered upon.
Monarchs, in particular, have left lasting impressions on their reigns as rulers of their kingdoms. More than their accomplishments, monarchs have been picked on the way that they have conducted themselves in public as well as their private lives. People have a tendency to scrutinize scandals rather than their accomplishments; perhaps because the negative bias in our consciousness is as real as our deliberate actions. We tend to remember painful experiences with great detail more than joyful ones because the former impacts us in a more meaningful way. Pain and sorrow forcefully change a person's world-view. Most of the time, they inspire drastic actions that could either bring about great victories or cataclysmic consequences. However one may view the world, we all share that palpable thirst to leave a legacy in this word - one that would confirm without a doubt that we were here. It is a need to validate our existence by a deed that would resonate through time long after we have turned into ashes.
Of late, I have been contemplating heavily on the kind of legacy that I would like to leave on this earth. It has occupied my thoughts with questions of what have I been doing with my life and how have I been spending my time. A queen would want to be remembered for her grace and magnanimity. She would like to go down in history as a symbol of power that though understated, is equally forceful as any power that is willfully exerted. This queen though has not found her niche yet. While the bane of her existence is waking up early in the morning, the purpose for which she gets up is still relatively unclear. So, she takes to her writing - the only thing she is arguably good at. She has not been gifted with superior intelligence or any incredible talent. The only thing she is certain of is that she has been gifted with the strength of a resolute conviction - that which allows her to persist in the face of tremendous obstacles.
Looking back at my experiences, I have discovered a certain role that has been thrust upon me. Being a queen, strength is presumed thus a level-head is expected of me. In almost all my dealings, people seek my counsel for life-changing decisions, mostly involving how to deal with pain and disappointment. It is an inside joke in the royal court that I have somehow managed to become a hospital for those who are in need of life support or intensive care. This should not lead you to think that this queen is supremely caring and comforting. The kind of care that I offer is more on the side of surgery sans anesthesia. When people come to me for advice, I always ask them if they are ready to hear the hard truths that I have for them. If they are, then I ask them to brace themselves for an advice that is blunt and absent of euphemism. Like I said in earlier posts, I'm not one to indulge in sugarcoating. I loathe it. Through the years, I have developed a knack for saying the things that most people are afraid to say out loud because they are terrified to acknowledge it. Saying it out loud would require them to face it because it is real. Not saying it somehow gives an illusion that it is not there. Even past romantic relationships are no different than my other dealings. After breaking up, my exes would come to me and tell me that they are grateful for the time they had with me. Their gratitude comes from a realization that our time together was a time when they learned a lot about themselves and have discovered truths about the world and how to respond to them. They even go as far as thanking me for these lessons because it has helped them with their current relationships. To this, I don't know even know the appropriate response, whether to be glad that I made a positive impact on their lives or to be sad that they could not work it out with me.
It is peculiar for me to think that I am able to somehow help others get through their predicaments but could not find my own redemption. I am plagued with internal battles that are ever present in my thoughts. Insecurities kill every ounce of self-worth that I have. Solitude has dampened my hopes of finding someone to share this life with. World events slowly poison my belief in humanity. It makes me question my own credibility whenever I'm approached for advice because I could not even battle my own demons. What should my legacy be then?
The truth is, our legacy is not how we see it to be. It is not defined by our own valuation and perception. It is decided by those whom we have come across with and whose lives we have touched in some way. People in history didn't know at the time that they will forever be remembered by their feats. The certainty of their legend was not written at the time they walked this earth. Their stories were etched into our collective consciousness after they departed because the lasting effects of their pursuits are still felt to this day. Thus, as I write to you now, it is my earnest hope that somehow, by speaking my mind, I will be able to share with you the joys and sorrows of life and be able to search for our niche together. We must become our own heroes, our own legends, because, in the end, no one else will do that for us. We were birthed into innocence and will leave the earth with consciousness. May our parting with this earth be characterized by how we have shared our endowments, great or otherwise, to positively impact the lives of others even if we could not rescuse ourselves. Perhaps that in itself is our redemption.
xoxo
QB
Monarchs, in particular, have left lasting impressions on their reigns as rulers of their kingdoms. More than their accomplishments, monarchs have been picked on the way that they have conducted themselves in public as well as their private lives. People have a tendency to scrutinize scandals rather than their accomplishments; perhaps because the negative bias in our consciousness is as real as our deliberate actions. We tend to remember painful experiences with great detail more than joyful ones because the former impacts us in a more meaningful way. Pain and sorrow forcefully change a person's world-view. Most of the time, they inspire drastic actions that could either bring about great victories or cataclysmic consequences. However one may view the world, we all share that palpable thirst to leave a legacy in this word - one that would confirm without a doubt that we were here. It is a need to validate our existence by a deed that would resonate through time long after we have turned into ashes.
Of late, I have been contemplating heavily on the kind of legacy that I would like to leave on this earth. It has occupied my thoughts with questions of what have I been doing with my life and how have I been spending my time. A queen would want to be remembered for her grace and magnanimity. She would like to go down in history as a symbol of power that though understated, is equally forceful as any power that is willfully exerted. This queen though has not found her niche yet. While the bane of her existence is waking up early in the morning, the purpose for which she gets up is still relatively unclear. So, she takes to her writing - the only thing she is arguably good at. She has not been gifted with superior intelligence or any incredible talent. The only thing she is certain of is that she has been gifted with the strength of a resolute conviction - that which allows her to persist in the face of tremendous obstacles.
Looking back at my experiences, I have discovered a certain role that has been thrust upon me. Being a queen, strength is presumed thus a level-head is expected of me. In almost all my dealings, people seek my counsel for life-changing decisions, mostly involving how to deal with pain and disappointment. It is an inside joke in the royal court that I have somehow managed to become a hospital for those who are in need of life support or intensive care. This should not lead you to think that this queen is supremely caring and comforting. The kind of care that I offer is more on the side of surgery sans anesthesia. When people come to me for advice, I always ask them if they are ready to hear the hard truths that I have for them. If they are, then I ask them to brace themselves for an advice that is blunt and absent of euphemism. Like I said in earlier posts, I'm not one to indulge in sugarcoating. I loathe it. Through the years, I have developed a knack for saying the things that most people are afraid to say out loud because they are terrified to acknowledge it. Saying it out loud would require them to face it because it is real. Not saying it somehow gives an illusion that it is not there. Even past romantic relationships are no different than my other dealings. After breaking up, my exes would come to me and tell me that they are grateful for the time they had with me. Their gratitude comes from a realization that our time together was a time when they learned a lot about themselves and have discovered truths about the world and how to respond to them. They even go as far as thanking me for these lessons because it has helped them with their current relationships. To this, I don't know even know the appropriate response, whether to be glad that I made a positive impact on their lives or to be sad that they could not work it out with me.
It is peculiar for me to think that I am able to somehow help others get through their predicaments but could not find my own redemption. I am plagued with internal battles that are ever present in my thoughts. Insecurities kill every ounce of self-worth that I have. Solitude has dampened my hopes of finding someone to share this life with. World events slowly poison my belief in humanity. It makes me question my own credibility whenever I'm approached for advice because I could not even battle my own demons. What should my legacy be then?
The truth is, our legacy is not how we see it to be. It is not defined by our own valuation and perception. It is decided by those whom we have come across with and whose lives we have touched in some way. People in history didn't know at the time that they will forever be remembered by their feats. The certainty of their legend was not written at the time they walked this earth. Their stories were etched into our collective consciousness after they departed because the lasting effects of their pursuits are still felt to this day. Thus, as I write to you now, it is my earnest hope that somehow, by speaking my mind, I will be able to share with you the joys and sorrows of life and be able to search for our niche together. We must become our own heroes, our own legends, because, in the end, no one else will do that for us. We were birthed into innocence and will leave the earth with consciousness. May our parting with this earth be characterized by how we have shared our endowments, great or otherwise, to positively impact the lives of others even if we could not rescuse ourselves. Perhaps that in itself is our redemption.
xoxo
QB
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